Grandma: Talk to Me

My almost 90-year-old “Ayeeyo” (Grandma) passed away in the early 1980s.

I last saw her during a visit to Mogadishu from the U.S. while on a break from college. She was then living in Mogadishu with my mother after spending seven decades in Qardho in the northeast region. It was a golden opportunity for me to spend time with her and talk to her as I had never been in that part of the country. Most of my questions were short, brisk, and pointed. After two dozen intermittent questions, she finally implored me to stop “bugging her.” Unfortunately, she was feeble and unable to stand and spent all her time sitting in her room.

I was curious how grandma—who hailed from Las Anod (a province in Sool)—ended up in Qardho and Bossasso. It is where she had married and bore three children.

Ayeeyo had separated from her family when she was 15 during the violent battles between the British colonial forces in the north and Sayyid Mohamed’s Dervish fighters. She got lost after the Dervishes routed civilians in her area, resulting in innocent people being killed, robbed, or uprooted.  It is not clear what had happened to Ayeeyo’s parents and siblings.

When I asked my grandmother if she had tried to return to her birthplace and looked for the family, she curtly responded, “No,” and then deftly changed the topic. She mentioned the names of her brothers whom she had not seen since that fateful incident. I know in wars families get separated, but I had a sense that she was never reunited with her family. Carefully, I broached the subject of her relationship with her family before the separation. Was she forced into a marriage? Did she have any conflict with them? Were there other mitigating factors in play that can shed some light on her flight? What kind of work did she do? How was life then for a single working mother in the northeast in the 1920s and 1930s? What was it like living during the time of Sayyid Mohamed’s independence war against the British? I also wanted to know more about my mom, her childhood and teen years, and about my aunt, Hadiyo, and my uncle, Abdi Gurey. Most of the time, I got a withering stare from grandma. She was selective in the questions she answered. One thing was clear: My grandma’s marriage to my grandpa was her first marriage, a possibility she may not have been forced into marriage.

After speaking with grandma, my regret was that I did not have an opportunity to meet her earlier in her life when she was a bit younger and healthier. I was curious of her life from childhood until her retirement. Grandma was a woman of ceaseless energy, a hard worker who had engaged in small business of buying and selling food and clothes. She maintained a steely calm, spoke in a soft, rather delicate voice, and rarely ventured an opinion of her. She had both grace and beauty and everything about her seemed impressive.

My mother, unfortunately, was more reticent talking about her childhood than my grandmother. It was simply something people then needed not to talk about. Interestingly, their silence did not indicate any disturbing secrets buried in their past. Simply, to them, there were more important things in life other than talking about mundane issues such as childhood.

For young Somalis, it is an important lesson for you to engage with your parents and grandparents. Talk to them and ask them about their lives. They might surprise you on how much interesting their early lives had been. It is also a way of connecting generations. I have been talking to an elderly Somali woman, 79, who has seven children, 42 grandchildren, and nine great grandchildren. “None of my grandchildren call me to chat with me,” she lamented. Born in Hargeisa, this woman has seen a lot; from the time of the British in the north, the pursuit of independence, the civilian government in the 1960s, Siad Barre’s coup, the Somali-Ethiopian war in 1977, the killings and upheaval in the north, the collapse of the Barre regime, the civil war, life in Kenya as a refugee, and finally settling in California. I have found her stories intriguing and captivating. Unfortunately, many of her relatives, especially the young ones, are unlikely to hear these fascinating narratives.  

An Interview with MP Mariam Arif Ghassim

Background: Mariam Arif Ghassim is the Chair of the Constitutional Oversight and Review Committee in the Federal Parliament of Somalia. An attorney by training, she spent close to two decades in Mogadishu after the collapse of Siad Barre’s regime. She has a keen eye for all things “Mogadishu”: from the daily life and struggles of Mogadishu to the thorny to the intricate details of the constitution and the political landscape. She weighs her words carefully, but is not afraid to express her views even if they are not popular. In this conversation, MP Ghassim answers some of the political questions gripping the country.

1.      What is the status of the constitutional review? Any progresses and challenges?

§  We are almost done. The constitutional review process is at its end. The working team is composed of two sister constitutional committees which have different mandates although toward the same result. We are the Constitutional Oversight and Review Committee of the Federal Parliament and this body consists of ten legislative members. The Independent Commission for Review and Implementation of the Constitution is composed of five respected intellectuals. We have already completed the review of ten chapters of the constitution and the remaining five chapters will be finalized within the next month before the constitutional conference of Garowe. We are not replacing old chapters with new ones, but offering different options so that the national leaders, the legislators, and the people of Somalia have the chance to choose the best alternatives for Somalia’s future.

2.      As a country, are we better off today than we were four years ago?

§  In 2012, Somalia was just recovering from a devastating war. Signs of destruction and chaos were evident in every place, especially in Mogadishu, the capital.  People were exhausted, scared and extremely traumatized.  The 2012 election happened miraculously and without any major incidents. Nobody believed that everything would work so perfectly, thanks first to Allah and next to President Sharif Sheikh Ahmed and Prime Minister Abdiweli Gass’ leadership.  Naturally, the country is now more organized than before with functioning regional states. The general environment is more peaceful and better than four years ago.  This year, the election of the MPs will not be concentrated in Mogadishu. A good part of the electoral process load will be moved to the regional states of Somalia.

3.      How do you foresee the political climate this coming summer?

§  I think the political climate will definitely be more difficult, but certainly more democratic. In the past, the parliamentary member was selected by one, or at best, two traditional elders.  This summer, the elders will only have the power to endorse the name of the elected legislator. Fifty electors from every sub-clan are expected to vote for their preferred candidate and choose the best; instead of the old system of the iron grip and dominance of a limited number of clan leaders.

4.      What has the parliament accomplished so far and has it failed?

§  The parliament of Somalia accomplished a lot during the current mandate.  First of all, after almost twenty five years of lack of documentation and record keeping, an institutional memory with organized parliamentary records have been implemented thanks to Chairman Mohamed Sheikh Osman Jawaari. We passed more than thirty laws and international agreements. We finalized the constitutional review process. We conceded confidence vote to three governments.  We solved the political impasse between two prime ministers and the president.  The most important achievement of the current parliament is the fact we kept the three main institutions of the state together honorably.  The last and most significant task of the current parliament is to legalize the agreed upon election formula which, of course, contradicts with Article 64 of the Transitional Constitution of Somalia.

5.      As a parliamentarian leader, are you optimistic about the future or cautious?

§   I am, by nature, optimistic. The worst part of Somali history is at its end. Enough is enough and a quarter of a century is a long time.  We need to unite all our forces and intellect toward a better Somalia. A president or a prime minister is unable to change the country alone. Let us all work to create a better national state, regional state, region, district and village for the benefit of our people.  I am sure that united, we can change Somalia and divided, we will gradually lose our identity as well as our country.

6.      Some legislators have lost their lives in the hands of Al-Shabaab. How safe is Mogadishu in general and for parliamentarians in particular?

§  Yes, it was sad that we lost a good number of valuable and esteemed colleagues, may Allah shower on them his mercy. We all mourned for their premature loss and no member of the parliament feels safe enough to enjoy life. Al Shabaab is one of the civil war phenomena, but after all, they are also our children. They are the typical children of war who were misled and confused by the adult behavior of violence and hostility. Time will help them heal from the deep scars of war. Many of them faced scary, unbearable childhood experiences. The war trauma negatively changed their natural childhood innocence and good behavior. At the political level, it is important to understand their deepest emotions as well as their internal plea for help in an environment of indifference and insensitivity. A special program, at the federal level, should be organized in order to save the minors and teenage groups.

7.      How has the role of the international community evolved in the last few years?

§  I was in Somalia for more than two thirds of the last twenty five years of anarchy and stateless. My impression is that the international community has not had a positive common agenda about the Somalia crisis. They are mostly in disagreement about how to behave and solve Somalia’s endless political and economic problems. It seems to me that instead of helping Somalia, they are individually protecting their conflicting interests and national agendas, not by bringing the Somali people together, but by dividing them further.  Despite its continuous economic assistance, the international community is rather searching the solution of Somalia’s problem—not from inside but instead—outside the country. 

(This interview was conducted for Wardheernews on May 7, 2016).